LOS ANGELES (CBSLA) – Vanessa Bryant penned a heartbreaking message Monday discussing the grief she is processing over the deaths of her husband Kobe and daughter Gianna in last month’s helicopter crash which also claimed the lives of seven others.

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words,” she wrote on Instagram. “My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong.”

The post included a video Kobe coaching Gianna’s basketball team.

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I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live. Then I realize I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters. Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri. I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process. I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.

A post shared by Vanessa Bryant 🦋 (@vanessabryant) on

Last week, Vanessa confirmed that a public “Celebration of Life” for Kobe and Gianna will be held at Staples Center on Monday, Feb. 24. Details about the event and how to purchase tickets have yet to be released.

On the morning of Jan. 26, a Sikorsky S-76 helicopter carrying a 41-year-old Kobe, 13-year-old Gianna, two other teen girls, four parents and the pilot crashed in Calabasas amid foggy conditions.

The helicopter had departed from John Wayne Airport in Orange County and was bound for Camarillo, with the passengers on board heading to Kobe’s Mamba Sports Academy in Thousand Oaks, where he was set to coach Gianna in a tournament game.

In its preliminary report Friday, the National Transportation Safety Board revealed that there was no evidence the chopper’s engines had failed prior to going down.

Comments (3)
  1. mandyfard says:

    A friend of mine who lost her husband in a plance crash recently is interested to connect with Vanessa Bryant because they share the same pain and they are in a positon where not too many other people can say to them “I know how you feel”. But my friend and Vanessa can do that for each other. Her husband was the pilot of a single-engine plane that crashed into an Upland home on November 7. She asked me to connect her. I have no clue how. That’s why I am leaving this comment here.

  2. Rita Duran says:

    My heart breaks for you. I lost my daughter years ago and I still feel as though it was just yesterday. It was a violent murder and when I found out, I felt such an emptiness in my heart and when people say my heart aches for you – that is what I felt. My heart was aching. I tried to be strong for the family, but that was the wrong thing to do. I spoke with a counselor and she said you have to let your feelings and tears out. You have to share the devastation with your family – let them know it is ok to feel the loss and cry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers always.

  3. Frostee DaKnowman says:

    We still harping about a rapist who played a kid’s game at a high level? Sheesh.

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