STUDIO CITY (CBS) — Are you a fan of reality television? Kyle Richards from “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”stopped by KCAL9 to talk about her new book.
In “Life is Not a Reality Show: Keeping it Real with the Housewife Who Does it All,” Kyle spills all her secrets about how to look good and live large while keeping it real, revealing how she achieves that perfect mix of celebrity and normality. She’s a real housewife whose first priority is her family, and she’s sharing her advice here on everything – from beauty to fashion to relationships.
Excert from “Life is Not a Reality Show:”
On Men and Dating:
One of the most valuable treasures my mother gave me is confidence. Above all, you must come across as confident. Don’t ever put yourself down in front of your man. Don’t’ put those images or thoughts in his head — especially because most of the time he won’t even notice. Guys don’t zero in on the flaws we see. They see you as more beautiful and less flawed than you do.
If there’s one thing I have learned, as my mother used to say — You have to be “sparkling” around a guy, outgoing and fun and funny and smart.
What’s his relationship with his mother? We’re looking for respectful and kind here. And how does he get along with his family? If he has a good family life before you marry him, he’ll likely be a good family man with you and your kids.
Not to take the romance out of it, but it might be helpful to think of dating as a hiring process. You’re considering whether you want this guy in your life long-term, and it’s a very important position to fill. You have to be clear-eyed in assessing whether he really fits the job.
Don’t spend your time looking for the hot guy and miss the one who’s going to treat you like a princess. …It may take you longer to fall in love, but you’ll have a much better life with the second guy.
The way you look is what initially draws guys. Now ask yourself, what are you putting out there? …If you want to attract the guy who only thinks about sex, or perhaps the guy who’s a cheater, then wear something that barely covers your ass and lets your boobs hang out.
To attract a man, to encourage him to fall in love with you, to keep him once you get him! – you need to communicate on a level that men can understand. Men are predatory animals…It’s their biological nature; it just means that they like a challenge, a chase. Make it clear that you’re a prize worth fighting for. Don’t just present yourself up on a plate and tell him you’re available by room service twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week!
If you’re looking for something more meaningful, more exclusive, more lasting – more like love – then you have to make him wait awhile. Instead of jumping into bed the minute he shows interest in you as a sexual partner, wait until he truly cares about you as a person. Because if he doesn’t care about you as a person, what reason does he have to come back to you –except for more sex? If his first experience of you is basically going to bed with you, don’t be surprised if it’s all over before it began. He’s done, he moves on, and you’ve never had a chance to get under his skin. I certainly made my husband wait a long, long time – months.
I’m not a big fan of guy’s night out or girl’s night out. I figure you can see your friends at lunch. Nights should be reserved for family or for going out with other people as a couple.
I know some people say that flirting can be totally innocent and harmless. I don’t agree. I believe that a relationship, especially after marriage – needs to be protected and sheltered from outside forces that could potentially undermine it.
One incident, a single mistake, is one thing, but I would not tolerate a repeat offender.
A woman friend came to me once very upset, and she started crying because she did something with someone other than her husband. I took her hands and said, “Look at me. It did not happen. Do you understand me? Stop! It did not happen. You’re moving on and it didn’t happen. Because otherwise you’re going to ruin your life.” There’s no need to hurt the other person unless you’ve put him at risk and have a responsibility to let him know. Do what you need to do to acknowledge in yourself and to God what you did. Don’t forget it; just learn from it and try to move on. When you face conflict in your marriage, look at the bigger picture of what is valuable in your life and what you want to hang on to. That might mean forgiving your husband or yourself.
On Being in a Reality Show:
A lot of people assume the show is scripted. You have no idea how many times I’ve thought, I should just start lying and say, “Yes, they made me say that!” I would love to blame a script for what I said in certain episodes.
Some of My Favorite Beauty Tips:
For Hair – I’m big on using oils in my hair, mostly Moroccan oils that I put in after almost every blow-dry, when my hair is dry.
Eyes – my real secret is false lashes. I put individual lashes on the outer corners of my eyelids on top of my mascara, and it makes such a difference. They are much easier to apply than a full strip and they look much more natural.
Clothes – when you find your perfect pair of jeans, buy two pairs, so you can wear one with heels and hem one to wear with flats.
Some people say you should never keep your ‘fat clothes’ around, but I disagree. I definitely have my uniforms, like the go-to outfits for days when I’m feeling bloated. I know I can still feel okay and reasonably confident in them. I’m a realist. My weight goes up and down and I want to have clothes that make me feel good at every phase.
Only buy something if it makes you feel beautiful and confident – not because someone says it looks good on you. Friends are well-meaning, but they’re not the ones who’ll be wearing the clothes.
For more information on the book, click here.