TALE OF THE TAPE

Who Had More Luck In Europe? Jacksonville Jaguars Vs. The Griswolds

Hey gang! Let’s talk about lovable losers. This week, we’d like to compare the hapless Jacksonville Jaguars – a team so far down that some fans are urging for redemption at the hands of Tim Tebow – vs. the Griswold’s, the stars of the Vacation franchise. Both are known for epic fails and international incidents, but which of these two groups had more luck in Europe? Let’s go to the tape.

Jacksonville Jaguars
The Griswolds
(credit: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)
(credit: Warner Bros. Studios/WBShop.com)
(credit: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images)
(credit: Warner Bros. Studios/WBShop.com)
Face Of The Organization
It was Blaine Gabbert. Now it’s Chad Henne. I couldn’t pick either out of a lineup.
Winner Pre-cranky old man, post-butthead Chevy Chase
Before Making The Trip To Europe
Have lost every game so far this year, often in embarrassing fashion.
Winner Somehow survived the Walley World debacle without so much as a lawsuit. Er. Spoilers, I guess?
Once They Got There?
Got decimated by the 49ers, 42-10, in front of a UK audience which they’ll be playing in front of for the next 3 years. Y’know. Just in case it becomes their new home in the future. Hypothetically.
Winner Got caught in an endless loop around Big Ben and Parliament.
And Then?
Reportedly, got into a fistfight with a bunch of locals. And lost. Badly.
Winner Destroyed Stonehenge.
And After That?
Practiced in preparation for...a bye week! A merciful bye week!
Winner Got to hang out in Paris.

The Winner Is

(credit: Warner Bros. Studios/WBShop.com)
Winner The Griswolds
5 out of 5

With a PERFECT SCORE of 5-0, the Griswolds win! Meaning the Jaguars STILL haven’t scored a victory this year. Neither against hooligans in the UK, nor against the fictional family of Chevy Chase. Yee-ouch.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. Members of the New England Patriots celebrate with the Vince Lombardi Trophy after defeating the Seattle Seahawks 28-24 in Super Bowl XLIX. Recording artist Katy Perry performs onstage during the Pepsi Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show.
    Was Super Bowl XLIX Or Katy Perry’s Halftime Show More Exciting?

    I don’t usually watch Super Bowl halftime shows. But when I do, it has Katy Perry. How did her performance measure up to the game?

  2. New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick talks to the media during a press conference Sunset over water
    More Shocking, Bill Belichick Not Aware Of Deflated Footballs Or Sun Setting In West?

    The sun sets in the west every day. But is that more shocking than Bill Belichick claiming ignorance in Deflate-gate?

  3. Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images) Russell Wilson #3 of the Seattle Seahawks (Photo by Otto Greule Jr/Getty Images)
    Which Team Has The Super Bowl Edge? New England Patriots Vs. Seattle Seahawks

    The Patriots have managed to outsmart both the Ravens and Colts with trick plays in the postseason, and the Seahawks will have to be on high alert here.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,829 other followers