MURRIETA (CBSLA.com) — A clinical psychologist who earns a living helping others deal with grief admits that after being caught up in the San Bernardino massacre, she is now struggling to deal with her own.
CBS2’s Greg Mills on Saturday spoke to Angelika Robinson — she was trapped inside the Regional Center’s building two when the shooting began in building three.
She acknowledged to Mills that she is not doing well.
Robinson says she is crying a lot and having trouble leaving the house. Her family wanted to go to a movie Saturday evening and she said she wasn’t up to it.
What’s ironic, reported Mills, is that Robinson works with Nancy Boles, and they go around the world helping officers deal with grief after traumatic incidents. Now, she says, she’s in no shape to help anyone.
“It completely caught me off guard,” says Robinson. She helped survivors of the shooting Wednesday but soon realized the day took its toll.
Within 24 hours, she told Mills she had trouble dealing with what had happened.
“I didn’t understand that I would feel so guilty about being okay,” she says. “It hit me. And it’s still hitting me.”
Because she was a part of the incident, Robinson says she is not allowed to help others cope. She told Mills she really isn’t in any shape to help others right now, anyway.
Robinson even has a hard time leaving her house just to run errands.
“I’m jumpy. I’m hyper-vigilant and I look around. I’ve left a couple of places because it felt too uncomfortable,” Robinson says.
She also said she has no idea when she will be ready to return to work.
Robinson believes having gone through her own trauma, and one of this magnitude, will ultimately help her with her counseling work when she is able to return.
Robinson told Mills she has been able to reach out to a fellow counselor — one who was also working that day. She said they have both been building each other up as they acknowledge to each other how much the massacre has freaked them out.