By: Brittni Michaelis

Ted Wells. Have you heard of him? If you haven’t, you might want to make yourself familiar with him because he might be the single-most important person in the NFL right now. He is the man who holds the Patriots’ legacy, Tom Brady’s legacy and Bill Belichick’s legacy in his hands because winning four championships since 2001 isn’t enough these days. Wells was hired by the NFL and Roger Goodell (actually, just Roger Goodell) last month to investigate and determine whether the Patriots committed any wrongdoing in and participated in what is now know as “Deflategate”.

First of all, is this real life? The NFL is grasping for any positive press they can. Does there really need to be an investigation into the ball pressure? The pressure in a ball warrants a full-fledged, all-hands-on-deck investigation yet when it comes to criminal activity such as child abuse, domestic violence, robbery and theft, the NFL is nowhere to be found and Goodell rules from his iron throne in silence. Goodell hired Wells to investigate because he believes, “My job is to protect the integrity of the NFL and to make sure the game is as safe as possible.” Since when?

Wells was hired solely as a PR move to prove that no accusation will go unnoticed on Goodell’s watch and on behalf of the entire NFL he is here to preserve the legacy of the game! Wells was hired to look into whether the Patriots knowingly used deflated footballs. A lawyer with a degree from Harvard University is investigating the ball pressure in a sphere like object that is caught, thrown and kicked around for entertainment. Please repeat that sentence and let it resonate for a little bit.

Here are four things you need to know about the lawyer from Harvard University who is tasked with investigating the “whodunit” of a fake scandal that can’t come to a conclusion fast enough. It’s like a real-life game of Clue except the players involved don’t have cool names like Mrs. Peacock or Professor Plum. I can see it now, “Tom Brady aka Colonel Mustard deflated the ball with the wrench in the Conservatory.” Thank you for your services, Mr. Wells.

In close, here is Ted Wells’ highlight reel. Enjoy!

1. Ted Wells Is A Criminal Law Attorney

Seems a little aggressive since the last time I checked deflating balls wasn’t a crime or illegal on the streets. Unless they are planning to arrest and charge the perpetrator with a crime, a criminal law attorney seems ludicrous.

2. Wells Once Represented Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer

You know the story. Spitzer is no longer governor, so that’s that.

3. Wells Defended Lewis “Scooter” Libby, Jr., Against Perjury Charges

Wells once defended one of the most notorious public figures in America — and common Jeopardy answer — against charges including CIA leak, perjury, lying to the FBI and obstruction of justice. Now he is investigating ball pressure and who broke the rules on the playground in the NFL?

4. Wells Investigated The Miami Dolphins Bullying Problem And Richie Incognito

Wells found a pattern of harassment and believed that Richie Incognito bullied Johnathan Martin. Thank goodness for you, Ted. I don’t think we would have ever gotten to the bottom of it without you!

 

 

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