Author Dana Shapiro Breaks Down The Truth Behind Modern Marriages

STUDIO CITY (CBSLA.com) — Academy Award nominated filmmaker and author, Dana Adam Shapiro, stopped by the KCAL9 studios Friday to talk about his latest book, "You can Be Right (Or Your Can Be Married)."

Dana Adam Shapiro was nominated for an Academy Award for his first film, Murderball.  His second film, Monogamy, was nominated for a 2011 Independent Spirit Award.  He is a former Senior Editor at Spin and his debut novel, The Every Boy, was a New York Times Editors' Choice and Book Sense Notable Book.  For his recent book, You Can Be Right (Or You Can Be Married), out September 4, Dana spent years across the U.S. investigating the painful, humorous, and ultimately hopeful truth about modern marriage.

Themes in the book:

1. Candor is the highest compliment.

2. Accelerate the inevitable and just admit your shit — because it's all going to come out eventually.

3. Telling the truth is so much easier — every lie requires a lifetime of maintenance.

4. You can change your behavior — not your character.

5. Discuss the dirty, nurture the naughty, and explore the fantasies — otherwise they're just going to get played out somewhere else.

6. Unconditional love is for children and pets. You need to earn it.

7. Sweat the small stuff.

8. When fighting: Admit, don't accuse.

9. If marriage feels like a full-time job — quit.

10. Don't paint the red flags white.

11.Compromise is overrated. You should love with abandon, sure, but don't abandon yourself in the process.

12. Engage the elephants in the room.

13. Don't overly prioritize the eternal.

14. Treat others not as you'd want to be treated, but as they want to be treated.