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Worst-Valentine's-Day-Ever Contest

Pick from the following Worst Valentine's Day -Ever contenders:

1) Our Happy twosome shoe-horns themselves into a highly recommend Palm Springs restaurant, that turns out to be serving prix-fixe holiday assembly-line banquet meals. Doesn't matter. Each couple on both sides are in the process of breaking up: one, angrily and drunkenly ("You haven't lifted a finger to help in years! Years!"); the other, sullenly and silently -- probably not 4 words exchanged in 2 hours.

2)  Divorcing couple agree to meet, to give it one more try. (Danger! Danger! -Ed.) She calls an hour after has been sitting at the restaurant table. Where is he?, she wants to know. Where is she?, he wants to know. When they agreed to get together at 'their place,' it didn't occur to either, they might not be talking about the same place.

3)  Divorced couple agree to meet, for old times' sake. (Danger! Danger! -Ed.) They go to the movies to watch Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in "War of the Roses," a 'comedy' about the nastiest divorce in modern times. She gets idea from film to reopen the case. Back to mediation for them!

4)  She goes to Las Vegas, looking for love. Really. Anyway, finds Mr. Right, they go to swanky club,  get the table usually reserved for Paris or Kim, drink the bubbly, eat the caviar. He says he'll get the bill, AND he invites her upstairs to his penthouse suite, right after he makes sure it's presentable. So he'll pops upstairs, but first, he'll tell the hostess he's picking up the tab. He instructs our protagonist --when she sees him wave to her from the hostess table -- wave back, so she (hostess) knows who he's paying for. She agrees. He goes to the hostess; waves to our girl; she waves back. Half an hour later, she wonders where he is, starts to leave for the penthouse, and gets stopped by the hostess who asks about the bill. But he paid, she says. No, responds hostess; he said you would. He said the woman who was paying would wave... and that was you.  $1,480 later....

Delicious tidbit: two of these four items have happened in the life of your humble blogging servent.

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