TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: NHL Negotiations Vs. A Bad Date

NHL Negotiations
Bad Dates
NHL Media Availability
123217065
Being Stood Up
Locks you out of your workplace for months with security guards at the ready.
Winner Leaves you drinking water and eating table bread at a restaurant for over an hour before letting you know they can’t make it.
Who's Involved
People who look like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like someone who had ever picked up a hockey stick.
Winner Someone who looks like your grandfather with way too much make-up on and nothing like that online personal you replied to.
Meeting Point
Winner Undisclosed locations that sound like dingy basements with blood-spattered walls and one fluorescent light bulb in the middle.
A self-help seminar on how to trust people again after your parents put your dog to sleep and tell you he ran away.
Conversations
Winner Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts can understand.
Talks about money in a way only accountants and financial analysts would, as far as they know.
Possible 2nd Date?
Winner Abruptly breaks off talks and doesn’t speak to the other party for a week.
Runs crying from the restaurant and calls you up a week later to tell you, “we should do this again.”
Outsider Perspective
Winner More action and drama than the NHL has had as a sport in years.
Winner Hilarious to everyone involved except the two people on the actual date.

The Winner Is

NHL Media Availability
Winner NHL Negotiations
4 out of 6

After some careful consideration and thoughtful review, its been determined that the NHL Negotiations are worse than a bad date. Why? Because not even a federally appointed mediator can't help fix the problem.

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. INGLEWOOD, CA - 1987: Kurt Rambis #31 of the Los Angeles Lakers passes circa 1987 at the Great Western Forum in Inglewood, California . NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 1987 NBAE (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images) MILWAUKEE - 1970:  Wilt Chamberlain #13 of the Los Angeles Lakers shoots a free throw against the Milwaukee Bucks during the 1970 season at the MECCA Arena in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 1970 NBAE (Photo by Vernon Biever/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Lakers Turned Coach: Center

    There have been many former Lakers’ players turned coach, but of those player coaches, who would make the best starting five?

  2. CHARLOTTE, NC - FEBRUARY 14:  Luke Walton #4 of the Los Angeles Lakers handles the ball during a game against the Charlotte Bobcats on February 14, 2011 at Time Warner Cable Arena in Charlotte, North Carolina.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 2011 NBAE  (Photo by Kent Smith/NBAE via Getty Images) BOSTON - 1966:  Elgin Baylor #22 of the Los Angeles Lakers moves the ball against Sam Jones #24 of the Boston Celtics during a game played in 1966 at the Boston Garden in Boston, Massachusetts. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement. Mandatory Copyright Notice: Copyright 1966 NBAE (Photo by Dick Raphael/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Lakers Turned Coach: Power Forward

    There have been many former Lakers’ players turned coach, but of those player coaches, who would make the best starting five?

  3. (Photo by Rocky Widner/NBAE via Getty Images) (Photo by Vernon Beiver/NBAE via Getty Images)
    Lakers Turned Coach: Small Forward

    There have been many former Lakers’ players turned coach, but of those coaches, who would make the best starting five?

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS Los Angeles

KNX 1070 Newsradio
Play.It

Listen Live