TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of The Tape: Ferris Bueller Vs. Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announced he was not going to be able to participate in the U.S. Open. While we get he is injured – the fact he is taken the U.S. Open off has become a big news story. Which made us think – what would a day off with Tiger Woods look like?  Would it be better than taking the day off with Ferris Bueller?  Lets go to the tape.

View Comments
Ferris Bueller
Tiger Woods
ferris
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
(Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Start To The Day
Lots of pre game – McGyvering entire room followed by licking palms and rewiring doorbell.
Winner Back Massage followed by counting money.
Eating Out
Winner Fine Dining - Chez Quis and its staff await your arrival.
Tiger's notorious for not leaving good tips – you'll pay and feel guilty about it.
Soaking in Culture
Winner Fine museums, sports events, a possible parade.
No chance of going to any public places.
Possible Third Wheel
Sloane Petterson or Cameron Frye – either would be a bonus.
Winner Lindsey Vonn
Getting Around Town
Winner Priceless 1961 Ferrari 250GT – less than 100 were made.
Used Buick with a busted rear window.
Chances of Getting Caught
Winner Just leave a key under the backdoor mat and we'll be fine.
Yeah – we won't go there.

The Winner Is

ferris
Winner Ferris Bueller
4 out of 6

Les jeux sont faits. Translation: the game is up. Ferris is the king of taking the day off and there is no doubt he is the right choice. Of course the question isn't what are you going to do. The question is what aren't you going to do?

View Comments

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images) (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Seattle Seahawks At Washington Redskins

    The Seahawks don’t like to waste time when they go on the road.

  2. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images) (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Cincinnati Bengals At New England Patriots

    The Bengals are undefeated and rested, and they are licking their chops to get a shot at the Patriots when they are not at their best.

  3. (Photo by Peter Aiken/Getty Images) (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Kansas City Chiefs At San Francisco 49ers

    It was the kind of performance that demands an immediate reassessment.

See All Tales of the Tape
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,400 other followers