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Andre Johnson Vs. Santa Claus – How Does He Match Up To St. Nick?

(credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)
(credit: Kena Betancur/Getty Images)
  • 40 Time?
    4.41 Seconds
    I mean...one estimate has St. Nick traveling at roughly 5.6 million miles per hour (in order to deliver all those presents) so...whatever 40 yards of that is. A blink, essentially.
  • Weight?
    A svelte 227 pounds.
    Probably more than that.
  • Receiving TDs this year?
    5 this year (really? That feels low). 61 overall (that too).
    None?
  • Estimated value of Presents
    $17,352
    Millions and millions
  • Is he real?
    Yep!
    Who’s asking? Where are your parents?
  • Reaction to seeing mommy kissing him?
    ...I’M GONNA BE RICH!
    Set it to a song!
  • Reaction when you hear him “Up on a rooftop, click-click-click”ing?
    Stranger! I’m calling the police right now.
    Weeeeeeee! Presents!
RESULTS
So there you have it. After a hard-fought battle of joyful giving, Andre Johnson takes the round 3-2! And rightly so. What a terrific fella. -Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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