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Ronda Rousey Says She Contemplated Suicide After Loss To Holly Holm

LOS ANGELES (CBSLA.com) — One of the world's toughest athletes made a stunning revelation on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on Tuesday, showing just how deeply she was devastated by her first loss in the UFC octagon.

Mixed martial arts fighter Ronda Rousey told Degeneres that after being dealt her first UFC defeat in November at the hands of rival fighter Holly Holm, she immediately sank into a feeling of worthlessness that spiraled into thoughts of suicide.

Rousey had never before been defeated in her 4-year UFC career, and had only once been taken past the first round by an opponent.

"I was thinking of killing myself in that exact second," Rousey said. "Thinking, nobody [cares] about me anymore."

Retelling the experience brought Rousey to tears.

But Rousey said she found a larger purpose in the wake of her crisis, thanks in part to her relationship with boyfriend, fellow UFC fighter Travis Browne.

"I was thinking, 'I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive,'" she said. "I was meant to have him when I was at my lowest."

Rousey said she's since broadened her perspective on the loss, and now wants to get back in the ring to be an example of resilience to other young women.

"Maybe winning all the time isn't what's best for everybody," Rousey said. "Everyone has their moments of picking themselves off the floor."

Clinical psychologist Dr. Miriam Hamideh agreed.

"When she talks about being undefeated, I realize her whole identify was built around that image," she said. "I think it's actually a good thing for people to see that it's not possible to be that perfect, ideal, undefeated person all the time."

Rousey's father committed suicide when Rousey was 8-years-old. About 105 people commit suicide daily in the U.S.

Rousey is featured on the cover of this year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

She's hoping to meet Holm back in the ring soon.

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