SANTA MONICA (CBSLA.com) — Amy Wruble is one of a growing number of women who are finding that after having their first child it’s very difficult to get pregnant with a second.
“If someone says to me, ‘You know, don’t you want another one?’ I can never just smile and say ‘yes.’ I say, ‘Yes, I do! And we’ve been trying for years and it’s really hard!'”
The Santa Monica resident gave birth to her daughter, Vivian, three years ago, when she was 41, and has been trying to get pregnant ever since. She’s had to deal with the devastation of three failed pregnancies.
“I’m sort of becoming an early miscarriage pro…You know, I cry in the car. That’s a good place for it,” Wruble said. “You have a kid, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to have another one and then you just can’t.”
Wruble shares her tribulations in a blog called “Carriage Before Marriage,” where she explains why she took her time finding the love of her life and why they’re experiencing life’s milestones out of order.
“We had a baby first, and then we started planning our wedding, and all along we’ve been trying to have another child because we’re playing beat-the-clock with my biological time table,” Wruble said.
Doctors say Wruble is experiencing secondary infertility. It’s when a woman has no trouble having her first child but experiences difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a child to term the second time.
Fertility specialists say secondary infertility is on the rise.
“Actually, in 1988, the incidence was estimated to be roughly 2.7 million people, and in 2008, so 20 years later, it was 3.3 million people, so it has gone up by 500,000 or 600,000,” according to fertility specialist Dr. Joseph A. Hill, III.
Some mothers are having difficulty because, like Amy, they’re waiting until they’re older to start having families. But specialists also attribute problems to unhealthy lifestyles and complications with the first childbirth.
“If they had any kind of complicated pregnancy that could give rise to infection. Women who had a fever during labor and delivery requiring antibiotics,” Hill said.
Experts encourage couples having trouble conceiving to see a fertility specialist. They may be able to rule out problems, prescribe fertility medications or alternative fertilization options, such as in vitro fertilization.
Wruble says she doesn’t know if her dream of having a second baby will come true, and keeping her frustrations to herself is tough. Through her blog, she’s been introduced to many mothers who are going through the same thing.
Amy says the joy she gets from her daughter eases her through disappointment and gives both her and her fiancé the motivation to continue trying.
“Most of all I want my daughter to have someone that’s always going to be there even after her father and I are gone,” Wruble said. :Soon my daughter will be big enough to ask me, ‘When am I getting one of those? When am I getting a little brother or a sister?’ And I would like to be able to say, ‘Oh, in about three months. That would be the answer I would like to give her.”
To read Wruble’s blog visit carriagebeforemarriage.com.