Mother Forced To Pay Spousal Support To Man Who Raped Daughter

CORONA ( — A mother who was forced to pay spousal support to the ex-husband who was convicted of raping her daughter is speaking out to CBS2.

“Every time I wrote that check, I cried because I felt like I was paying the man that raped my daughter,” Carol Abar told CBS2’s Andrea Fujii.

Carol married Ed Abar in 1991, when her daughter, who wishes to remain unidentified, was 9 years old.

Carol’s daughter said Abar abused and raped her for 16 years before she told her mother.

“He had threatened me that he would kill my mom; he would kill my stepbrothers; he would kill me,” she said.

Once Carol found out, she filed for divorce from Abar before rape charges were brought against him.

Since Carol made more money than Abar, she was forced to pay alimony—$1,300 a month.

“The judge told me I had no proof. It was my word against him,” said Carol. “He had been raping her since she was little. Since I got married to him.”

In all, Carol paid $22,000 to Abar until last year, when Abar struck a plea deal and pleaded guilty to one of the five rape charges. He was sentenced to more than a year in jail.

A judge then temporarily stopped the spousal support.

Now out of jail, Abar has filed to reinstate the support, according to Brian Uhl, Carol’s attorney.

“He’s asking not just to resume the existing support of $1,300 a month, but he’s asking for what amounts to approximately $33,000 in past due support and that too is a miscarriage of justice,” said Uhl.

Abar did not want to be interviewed, but his attorney said he deserves the money.

“Under the law, he is entitled to some relief from the higher income producing spouse, so that the marital standard of living can be maintained,” said Sherry Collins.

Under California law, when deciding spousal support, the court will take domestic abuse between couples into consideration, but child abuse is not specifically mentioned in the law.

Since Abar never abused his wife, the judge could rule in his favor, reported Fujii.

“It’s remotely possible and that concerns myself and it should concern those people in California that have similar situations,” said Uhl.

Abar is a registered sex offender, but under the plea agreement, his information is not accessible to the public.

Collins explained he took the plea deal to avoid a longer sentence.

“His way to get out of jail was to take a plea bargain and that’s what he did, but he’s very adamant that he’s not guilty of any of the allegations,” she said.

Carol and her daughter said they know the truth.

“It hurts me. I still feel like I’m being victimized,” Carol’s daughter said.

Carol said, “He victimized a little girl all these years and I have to pay him for that behavior…it just doesn’t make sense to me.”


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