The Early Valentine’s Day Presents, You Didn’t Think Of

...and probably for a reason
View Comments
cupid 2

Valentine’s (or as Mr. Hefner might punctuate it, Valentines’) Day is next week.  Let’s review this year’s most appropriate gifts, starting with the Zombie Cupid ($14.95). I’m told no two are exactly alike. Imagine.

 Zombie Cupid

The rose really sells it.  Next, the company that sells it, really sells it good with the Human Heart Jello Mold. (Just $6.95! Buy two!) I love the online sales pitch:  “…perfect for lovebirds, med school students, and aspiring cannibals.”

Heart Gelatin Mold 6959 l The Early Valentines Day Presents, You Didnt Think Of

And for those who  are merely hungry,  what about  a Gummy Bear?  Just one. Just one, really really big Gummy Bear…. Amazon will sell it to you for $34.99.  5 pounds, if you were curious. (“But Mom! I only ate 1 Gummy Bear!”) 

41pROFiH3fL The Early Valentines Day Presents, You Didnt Think Of

Shop early and shop often: you don’t want to be left empty-handed on a day of such romance. And nothing says “I love you,” like a zombie, a jiggling human heart, or an edible bear.  And no, I don’t get a cut of sales. If I did, I’d charge more for the Jello Mold.

View Comments
blog comments powered by Disqus
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,446 other followers