Urn Your Way to Immortality

But is it worth dying, just to get a head?
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urn head 1

This started out, just to be a story about how creepy it is that you can remember the dearly departed with a cremation urn that looks like the dearly departed. Especially, if the dearly departed bears a resemblance to David Duchovny (see pic.)  A Vermont company called Cremation Solutions only needs a couple of pictures to create a computer-generated, 3-d, life-size severed head-on-a-plate, to remind you of your loved one, every time you look on the floor at the back of the closet over by the water heater.  (Full-size, $2,600. “Keepsake” size, a bargain at $600.) 

But exhaustive research (read: Google searching Cremation Solutions -Ed.) has turned things a bit more disquieting.  Photographs show how  mourners apparently can unscrew the deceased’s head, and store things other than ashes. In this example, it appears we’re seeing a candle,and some plastic flowers.

 Urn Your Way to Immortality

And then there’s this. Head held high, the company reminds that we don’t have to use our own faces, we can use the faces of others. Says the web page: “…your loved one or favorite celebrity or hero, even President Obama!” (Exclamation point, theirs.)

Personal Urns (Keepsake Sized)

Hmmmmmmmm. Ooooooooooooo-kayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I’m wondering if it’s right to use an image of the still-living leader of the free world, as a selling point for a head on a plate? I’m thinking no. Yes, I’m aware there are 2-thousand jokes that could be made from both sides of the aisle.  I will let others tell them. Instead I will sit here wagging my finger, and telling Cremation Solutions “Tsk tsk.”

It is a nice likeness though.

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