Filed underKristine Lazar: Reporting From The Playground
As soon as my son turned one, the questions started. ”When are you going to have another?” The first time someone asked me that, it was at Griffin’s first birthday party. I thought they meant another piece of cake (yes, please). They meant another kid.
I will state for the record that getting pregnant right now is the last thing on my mind. Griffin is finally gaining some independence (as in he will now play for five seconds alone instead of one), I am back into my old jeans, and I enjoy as much sleep as I like because my awesome kid sleeps from 8:30pm until 9am (don’t hate me, fellow moms).
A new baby would mean more diapers, no sleep, round the clock breast feeding, pants with elastic waistbands, zero alone time with my husband, turning the bassinet in my bedroom back into a bassinet rather than a place to store my folded laundry, the sterilizing of bottles, teething, monthly pediatrician appointments, no sleep, burping (I never get good ones!), more diapers, and no sleep (I had to include that multiple times).
Don’t get me wrong, I want a second child, and if I got pregnant tomorrow I would be overjoyed. If there is one thing I am sure of in this world it’s that I love being a mom. I just don’t think I am ready to do this again…yet.
My brother and I are 4 and a half years apart. My husband is a twin. I see the benefits of having children close in age, especially when it comes to them having a stronger bond, but I also think there is something to be said about giving each child time to be the baby of the house.
I also can’t imagine having two children in diapers. My son squirms, kicks and twists when I change his diaper, and sometimes tries to grab it and throw it at me. As you can imagine, diaper changes are not my favorite part of parenthood.
But…and I can practically see my husband start to sweat as he reads this…I am starting to get the itch again. When I see a newborn, or a pregnant woman, or even an ultrasound photo, I start to long for another teeny, tiny baby. Savoring their baby smell, touching their wrinkly, silky skin, and the feeling you get the first time you lay eyes on your child. It truly is the best feeling in the world.
So, what have I decided? I think we will wait another year. Griffin will turn 2 this July, and start part time preschool in the Fall. I figure once he is in school, I can spend some one-on-one time with the baby in the mornings, which is something I so enjoyed with my sweet baby G. And I am hoping that once Griffin is a little more mature (sounds funny to use that word when we are talking about a toddler), he will be more accepting of a sibling. Right now, all he wants is me, and my full attention. Walk into my house at any time of the day and you’re likely to hear him calling “mama, mama, mama, maaaaamaaaaa!”
I guess that brings me to my biggest reservation about having another child right now. How can my heart get any bigger? How can I find the space in it to love another child as fully and completely as I love Griffin? It makes me tear up to even imagine his feelings being hurt, by seeing me with another child.
How do you mothers of multiple children do it? When do you think the right time is to have another? I’m interested to hear your thoughts.