Ron Artest sort of, kind of officially signed to play in England with the Cheshire Jets. But as you might expect, there could be some complications involved in the deal. The most important being money. Via ESPN.com:
“You’ll appreciate that we haven’t got the means to entice someone of Ron’s standing on financial grounds,” [Jets director [Peter] Hawkins said. “Our commitment is to help raise Ron’s profile in the UK in order to help him develop his music and movie career over here while playing basketball.”
What’s the solution? Soap operas. Yes, soap operas. According to the report, one possibility is trying to find Artest a role in a British soap opera.
I mean, where do you even begin? I can’t even tell you how exicted I’d be for All My Children: UK Edition starring Metta WorldPeace. I wonder what kind of role Artest would be cast in. I don’t even know what to guess. Estranged father looking for his two adopted sons? Strange hobo on his death bed? Overzealous banker tied up in a vicious love triangle? All sounds like excellent options to me.
Oh, oh, I’ve got it actually: He should just play himself. Nothing more interesting than that.